All of the Women in me are TIRED!
All of the women in me are tired. Tired of being battle weary; fighting for others and no one fights for us but us. Tired of being angry; and no one looks for the root cause of our anger or the person(s) who threw the rock and hid their hand(s). Tired of waiting for justice and watching injustice roll down like ever flowing streams of blood and grief.
All of the women in me are tired of #icantbreathe. Tired of not being able to eat skilltles and drink sweet tea wihtout being terrorized walking home. Of having someone claim I am attacking them while bird watching. Of not being able to question authority and called names when they are WRONG! Tired of not being able to go on a run in the neighborhood without being suspected of a crime and subsequently lynched in broad daylight. Tired of not being able to knock on a door for help when my car breaks down for fear of being shot and killed. Tired of being shot dead in my own bedroom in front of my nephew.
All of the women in me are tired of being read as a teeneager when we are only seven years old. Tired of being assaulted at school by an overzealous officer who doesn’t know his boundaries, grabs my young sisters, and slams them to the ground like a grown ass man. Tired of racist school districts who believe that our hair, culture, and skin is problematic.
All of the women in me are tired of a culture that calls our style ghetto until they “columbus”, commodify, and/or Kardashian it for $3,000. Tired that #blackgirlmagic and #blackboyjoy is somehow offensive but white supremacy isn’t. Tired that white supermacist legacy of murdering of black and brown people NEVER receives the condemnation it deserves. Tired of “whataboutisms.” Tired of hearing “well if you aren’t doing anything wrong then what’s the problem?”
All of the women in me are tired of the lack of marches and vigils for black women who die at the hands of racist policemen, violent husbands, and the men with fragile ego’s who kill women because they say “no, thank you” or “I’m not interested.” Tired of the murders of transwomen and few think their lives are worthy of remembering. Tired that those crossing into the ancestral realm are getting younger and younger. Tired that COVID19 impacts black and brown bodies more because they are the so-called essential workers when in fact, they are really the lambs for the slaughter on the altar of capitalism.
All of the women in me are tired of the weaponization of white tears and fears that use 911 as a pit bull to destroy black bodies. Tired of white liberals who ain’t really liberal. Tired of white silence. Tired of the pink pussy hat women who voted for 45 and are looking for black women fix the mess THEY made. Tired of women’s marches that use black women’s bodies for numbers but don’t want our voices and concerns as part of their agendas.
All of the women in me are tired of racist medical systems that refuse to properly disgnose my symptoms. That assume I’ve had several abortions. That assume that I have several children. That ignore my voice. That look past me when I speak. Tired that the health care system will not treat the real physical pain I feel becasue since I am a black woman I can take the pain. Tired of weathering. Tired of suffering of diabetes, heart disease, cancer, high blood pressure.
Tired that I am presumed incompetent, guilty, hypersexual, ugly, unwanted, and dangerous, cause I am none of those things. In the words of Fannie Lou Hamer, “I am sick and tired of being sick and tired.”